As we all know, February is the month of love. Valentine Day is quickly approaching and it draws our attention to this profound, miraculous force in our lives. I identify love as one of those behavioral bridges that has the power to generate extraordinary personal change. My challenge with the word ‘love’ is that we use it to identify such a wide range of emotions and experiences that we can minimize the deeper meaning of it.
So; what is this love? The word has been defined as an emotional state, an intense feeling of attraction, affection and intimacy. But I really believe this is only the beginning of my understanding of the word. Wikipedia, in its definition points out that love is an abstract concept, easier to experience than to explain. That may be true, however, in this article I want to make my best effort to make some sense of what it is.
So much of our English language comes from the Ancient Greek language and there are at least four distinct words for love in the Ancient Greek: agápe, éros, philía, and storgē.
Philia: means “affectionate regard, friendship,” usually “between equals.” It is expressed variously as loyalty to friends (specifically, “brotherly love”), family, and community, and requires virtue, equality, and familiarity. In this context, I can say that I love my mother. It may also express a desire or enjoyment of an activity. I love to golf. I think we all have to be a little cautious of these loves because it can become an obsession.
Storge: means “love, affection” and “especially of parents and children” It is the common or natural empathy, like that felt by parents for offspring. I think our pets can be the focus of this kind of natural empathy, as in, I love my dog Minnie, because, as we all know, our pets are more than animals, they are an important part of our families. This is also used when referencing the love for one’s country or a favorite sports team.
Éros: means “love, mostly of the sexual passion.” The Modern Greek word “erotas” means “intimate love.” Plato refined his own definition: Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself.
The word intimacy can be broken down into the phrase, in to me see. While eros is first experienced as a physical attraction of someone, it invites a person to see deeper into whom a person is in their being. As we take the risk to see someone in this deeper manner we discover their inner qualities, their values and their spiritual gifts. It is what makes way for agape love.
Agápe means “love: esp. charity; the love of God for man and of man for God.” Agape is used in ancient texts to denote feelings for one’s children and the feelings for a spouse. Agape is used by Christians to express the unconditional love of God for his children. This type of love was further explained by Thomas Aquinas as “to will the good of another.”
This final definition points us to the highest expression of love, to love unconditionally. It culminates in an emotional, spiritual connection that always considers what is best for the one loved.
I asked the Inside Out community to offer some of their definitions of love. Here are a few that stood out for me that especially identified this highest expression of love.
Love is a deep inner knowing that this is true love – having absolute trust with another human being. It is a safe place to be your authentic self, reaching the deepest intimate connection with someone with honesty and vulnerability.
Opening your heart, to receive and cherish unconditionally, without reservation, filled with grace and with desire only for the best…this is how I see love.
Love brings out the best in yourself and those you love. Love mends the heart and when a person feels loved (by self and or others) it gives them courage to do things they may not otherwise do. To love and to be loved makes the soul sing.
Love for me has something to do with growth…about making room for, encouraging and celebrating growth, not holding self, or another back, from discovering and freely expressing each individuals awesomness.
Love is a combination of positive feelings in my sacred heart, they help me feel gracious, kind, caring, valued, and accepted, to name a few, Love motivates me to feel willing and generous, to sacrifice, to surrender, forgive, trust, be patient, encourage, be compassionate , serve, and be nonjudgmental to myself and others, Love is letting go of control, gives freedom to myself and others to grow, be and really live.
Love is consciously deciding every moment to allow those in your life to express themselves as imperfect humans without judgment or expectations. Love is empowering them to discover their soul purpose and trusting that they will do the same for you…. If you let them!
In my next article I will provide my own definition of love and how it is a force in our lives.
What is your definition of love?
Terry
