For the past forty years I have been counseling couples in an effort to build the healthiest, most fulfilling relationships possible. For the most part, I have been doing this couples work on my own. I am happy to announce that this is changing.
In the past couple of years, my partner Christine has become more and more involved in my work with couples. In the beginning of our collaboration I would ask her to help out with couples that were struggling with money issues. Christine is a financial controller and accomplished book keeper, so, she brings expertise to one of the most difficult issues that couples often struggle with. Her insight would quickly help couples see where they were getting into trouble financially and then she would provide them with some practical strategies on how to solve their issues and build financial stability.
Mentoring versus Counseling
Since our early attempts to include Christine on financial matters, we have discovered that we have so much more to offer couples as a couple. Both the male and female perspective in working through couples issues is invaluable. I know that I have lots of knowledge and experience working with couples; however, I am always going to be looking at life and relationship through my male lenses. To have that female insight and experience is so helpful to what couples need when seeking help.
I believe that the idea of mentoring is really important here. I do not believe that couples or people just want to be told what to do or how to live. Sure, they want some guidance, but they also want an example of what a healthy relationship looks like or even feels like. As a couple, Christine and I provide a safe space for couples where they can engage in honest, open dialogue about relationship issues. We are not just offering tools for relationship success, we are modeling what we believe will build a healthy relationship by sharing openly our own experiences. It is in that caring, encouraging environment that couples feel hopeful and confident that healthy relationship is possible.
One of the ways that Christine and I feel that we can take this idea of mentoring relationship to another level is to share more than just our experiences with couples. We want to also share our home with them. We have a beautiful home in Black Mountain Kelowna that has a spare room with adjoining bathroom and spacious TV room.
This unique opportunity is for couples that recognize that they need some special attention for their struggling relationship. The basic format for this program would be to provide anywhere from two to four nights at our home to work through some daily sessions and to enjoy the Okanagan. Sometimes a break from the stresses of life and family is what is necessary to reboot and reignite what is most important in a relationship. Depending on the needs of each couple, Christine and I will tailor a program for that couple. Some of these packages could include spending some meals together.
Some of the relationship issues we focus on include:
- Healing relationship scar tissue
- Rebuilding trust
- Healthy communication
- Developing intimacy
- Money talk
We are looking forward to working with couples in this way. Christine and I believe that it is one more way that we can fulfill our sense of purpose together as a couple.