I am a creature of habit. Like most of you, I appreciate the consistency and continuity of daily routines and rituals and the feelings of security and safety that accompany those routines and rituals. I have a yearly calendar that is filled with a schedule of Inside Out programs that governs my monthly, weekly and even daily planning. I have a certain amount of coaching and counseling that is included in that calendar on a weekly basis, but that is mostly predicable and easily integrated into my schedule. Christine and I will include a couple of get away opportunities during the year and include them in our calendar. For the most part, this kind of predictability is reassuring and comforting.
However, what I have learned over the years is that my life is not nearly as predictable as I would like. In fact, it is constantly shifting and moving in ways that are difficult to anticipate and orchestrate. I experienced one of these significant shifts this past month when Christine walked into the house and said, “We are moving.” My first response is, “Say what!” In truth, the announcement should not have come as such a big surprise as we have been struggling with our strata since that day we moved into Black Mountain, and we had talked about the possibility of moving. I suppose I did not expect it quite so quickly and announced in this way. But that would be pretending not to know who my partner is. When Christine decides a change is needed, she is determined and proactive. For the record, I think those are great qualities. And yet, the prospect of beginning to move in the midst of a very busy schedule for both of us felt very daunting. And, I admit, I struggled to come to terms with it.
So, now that I have come to terms with it, I want to share my process of dealing with change that is unpredictable and potentially life altering.
Reflect
Step one for me is to take a step back and reflect on what this change means to me. I do not want to get emotionally hijacked and spiral into a personal crisis that becomes difficult to pull out of. I want to see this as an opportunity to learn, to grow and to transition into a new season of possibilities.
I want to take an honest inventory of my life and ask myself, ‘is this a choice that will address what is not working in my life.’ In this case, I could say absolutely that this was a good choice for Christine and me and for Inside Out. While we enjoyed the place we have lived in for the past couple of years, we are a part of a strata community that constantly has us under a microscope. We had the constant feeling that we were begin watched and having a home business and a dog were issues that gave the strata justification to watch us.
Refresh
Step two for me is to let go and empty myself of what is not working. This is a form of mental, emotional purging. It is amazing how I want to hold onto thoughts, emotions and behaviors in my life that are not working. This is also true of relationships and career choices that we all hold on to even though we know they are unhealthy and debilitating.
So often, I continue to do things that leave me feeling frustrated, irritated and ultimately resentful. I want to stop doing those things but I have to be clear about the thoughts and beliefs that are driving the behavior.
In regards to this move; what I have to let go of, is the willingness to have someone tell me how to run my life. Christine and I both value our personal freedom and giving some else the power to tell us how to live is not a trade-off we are willing to make for a beautiful view and a comfortable home.
By the way, this kind of mental, emotional purging can also be an opportunity to purge in more practical ways as well. As we begin the process of moving to a new home, we are taking this opportunity to get rid of so many of the things that create clutter in our home and business. It actually serves as a very practical metaphor for letting go and moving on.
Reload
So, now that I have been working on emptying what is not working, I need to refocus and reload. I want to continue to move toward simplifying my life and business. Moving into a new residence allows me to ask the question, “Am I living on purpose in my passion?”
I want to focus on three or four priorities on how I want to run my business and how Christine and I want to utilize our home to fulfill our mutual sense of purpose. We are grateful for the extra space we have in this new home, as it allows us to continue to offer our gifts of hospitality and generosity. This is clearly a time to focus on what is most important to us and how we can strategize on how to create the life we want
Reengage
Once the purging and refocusing has taken place, it is time to implement the plan to live on purpose and in our passion. This requires the willingness to do some things differently. For me, this is a process that has really begun at the beginning of this year. I have rebranded my website and am moving toward offering my programs online. While I enjoy working with individuals and couples in coaching and counseling, I am working at delivering my intellectual property from the one to the many. Moving to a new home allows me to recommit to this vision and to continue setting up my new space to facilitate those changes.
As you consider some of the unexpected changes in your life, what are you doing to make the most of the opportunity? I hope the steps I have utilized in my life will help you in your transitions.
Terry
